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19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

Rhymes with “shmarks.”

Let’s start by making sure we’re all on the same page:

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=wCfWHqrYUqo. youtube.com

OK? OK. Let’s begin:

1. Nope.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via fuckyeahsharks.tumblr.com

2. No.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via discovery.tumblr.com

3. Mmmmm no.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via nbdnsbdnabsdnm.tumblr.com

4. Oh hell no!

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via e-eveille.tumblr.com

5. Yea, no.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via discovery.tumblr.com

6. Oh, you’re going to the beach? No.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via sharkweek.tumblr.com

7. Absolutely not.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via discovery.tumblr.com

8. “Nope nope nope nope,” say all the little fishies.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via boyzwhat.tumblr.com

9. Noooooope.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via absinthius.tumblr.com

10. Hahahahahahaha! No.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via sharkweek.tumblr.com

11. Even animated…NOPE.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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12. Innocent, land-locked Slip ‘N Slide?

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Noooooooope!

13. Later, mermaid.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via tobreathetofeel.tumblr.com

14. A shark so ugly that even his momma is like “Nope!”

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via discovery.tumblr.com

15. Your trip to the beach this summer (a dramatization):

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via hannesundin.tumblr.com

Nope nope nope.

16. A big, flying nooooope!

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via sharksaremybabies.tumblr.com

17. Fuck this, no.

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via trynottodrown.tumblr.com

18. In conclusion:

19 Reasons Not To Go To The Beach This Summer

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Via r3cklesscult.tumblr.com

19. Epilogue: Are you safe not at the beach?

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZcuYjDR2tSg. youtube.com

Nooooope! Moving to Kansas. Bye!

Last night in NYC, Drake, Chris Brown, and Meek Mill participated in a barroom brawl of sorts, one that is rumored to have been entirely based around Rihanna. The fight has captured the attention of Twitter, especially with the involvement of one of today’s biggest rappers (Drake), and biggest R&B singers (Chris Brown).

The people have decided to build Brown and Drake a bit of a playlist, mocking their fight last night, and perhaps giving us some really jazzed songs to bump to should they ever fight again.

So just what songs would be perfect for a Drake/Chris Brown throwdown?

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist "Same Girl" By R-Kelly And Usher

— THE ILLUMINATI (@ThelIluminati) June 14, 2012

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist Drake : YOLO *throws bottle* , ChrisB : Duecessss *tries too run , get hit in chin* , Rhianna : Mandown !

— R E A L ★ B I T C H (@she_moansWinnie) June 14, 2012

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist britney spears hit me baby one more time

— /.Shanti (@Journey2DaPast) June 14, 2012

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist Thats My Hoe – Future

— d i a m o n d (@TheDiamonddLife) June 14, 2012

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist , young joc it's going down

— Marcus Lamar ♋ (@PavedGreatness) June 14, 2012

@OfficialKojo Shania Twain – 'Man! I Feel Like a Woman' #drakeandchrisbrownfightplaylist

— Steven Smith (@StandardSteven) June 14, 2012

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist The Girl Is Mine – Michael Jackson

— Crystal (@CrystalBosset) June 14, 2012

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist "Mama Said Knock You Out" by @llcoolj

— Me & Mrs. Jones (@asharatheauthor) June 14, 2012

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist Whoop That Trick- Djay

— Peter Quill (@killdeshaan) June 14, 2012

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist Yamaha Mamma – Chris Brown ft Drake

— Corey Broyles (@CBroyles3) June 14, 2012

#DrakeAndChrisBrownFightPlaylist I Need A Doctor – Eminem

— Carvellz (@Tempahkid) June 14, 2012

Take note, promoters. Should you ever negotiate something a little more official than two guys throwing bottles at each other over girl, we’ve compiled the perfect playlist for you right here.

The 18 Most Embarrassing Things Marnie Has Done On "Girls"

18. When she couldn’t take a compliment gracefully.

17. When she realized Booth was stringing her along way after the fact.

16. When she whined about her clothes being “basic.”

15. When she complained about Charlie. Again.

 

14. When she tried to insult Elijah.

13. When she danced.

 

12. When she attempted this method of seduction.

11. When she was totally whatever.

10. When she made the trip to rehab about her.

 

9. When she asked Ray to help her “lay down this track.”

 

8. When she inadvertently threw shade.

 

7. When she wouldn’t shut up about the grilled pizza.

6. When she was definitely bragging.

 

5. When she thought this was romantic and not weirdly racist.

4. When she forced Hannah into a duet of “Take Me or Leave Me.”

 

3. When she was too sad to finish her taco.

 

2. When she made this heinous music video.

 

1. When she performed Kanye against everyone’s will.

 
Wtf!

Wtf!

Conservative bloggers not keen on Gang of Eight amnesty bill

Matthew Boyle is a reporter for Breitbart.com. He is referring to comments made by his colleague Lee Stranahan at BlogCon 2013 in Dallas earlier today.

Investigative Journalism panel: @jamesokeefeiii @rebelpundit and @stranahan #Blogcon2013 twitter.com/loud_talker/st…

— Loud Talker (@loud_talker) May 12, 2013

The tide seems to be turning, and in a big way.

18 Things You Wish You Could Forget About Middle School

1. Middle School relationships

2. Horrible Health class questions

3. Always being mad at Mom

5. Awkward slow dances

And some by yourself

6. Being really dumb

7. Keeping an online journal

8. Pretending to be a pimp

9. Every day this didn’t happen

10. Bad yearbook photos

11. How to flirt

12. Getting stuck in places

13. Dance chaperones

And the music they played

14. Middle School band

15. Middle School fashion

Check out those Frosted Tips.

17. Dance segregation

No Matter How Much You Look At These 20 Photos, You Can't Explain Them. Seriously, #3... What?

The 20 images you’re about to see are beyond explanation. These completely random and bizarre photos can best be summarized by one phrase: “You just had to be there.” It would almost be impossible to deduce why things happened they way they did. Why is that man covered in bread? Is that chimp drunk? What is going on here? (Prepare yourself. Things are going to get a little weird.)

1.) Hey, tigers like hot tubs, too.

2.) … I can’t even…

3.) I think he had a rough night.

4.) Rough day?

5.) Tigger crossed a line.

6.) Is that Bird Man? Or Bread Man?

7.) “I love daddy. Why would daddy do this to me?”

8.) This is not how you treat cacti.

9.) Just let this scene sink in.

10.) This happy family is going to give me nightmares.

11.) The only thing a man needs are his chickens.

12.) Oh deer…

13.) Soooo, what exactly are they gazing lovingly at?

14.) Sharing is caring!

15.) Wild thing. You give me nightmares.

16.) I have no idea what is going on here, nor do I want to.

17.) This student wasn’t especially quick, but he tried hard.

18.) Cartoon characters run the world.

19.) This fox couldn’t believe how long the line was for the ATM.

20.) Hi-ho, Silver, awayyyyy!

(H/T Bored Panda) This is just more confirmation that we live in a strange place. The next time you’re walking down the street and you see a fox patiently waiting in line at the ATM, don’t question it. Just take a picture and keep on walking. Share these oddities with others, we think they’ll get a kick out of it.

'Castle' Gets a New Showrunner

Castle

Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic gather the facts during a case in a Season 6 episode of "Castle."
Image: Danny Feld/ABC

Longtime Castle showrunner Andrew Marlowe is handing over the reins.

After six seasons of managing the day-to-day duties, series creator Marlowe is turning over responsibilities to executive producer David Amann, who, over the years, has penned some of the show’s biggest and buzziest episodes, including those featuring the show’s notorious 3XK killer.

“Over the past four seasons, David has proven himself to be a tremendous leader and a great steward of our show’s unique voice. I’m excited to continue our creative collaboration as he assumes his new responsibilities,” Marlowe said in a statement via ABC.

Marlowe will reportedly maintain a day-to-day presence at the show, which continues to be a stalwart for the network, ranking second in its time slot last season, but he will also put energy into developing new projects, as he has an overall deal with ABC Studios.

Castle closed out Season 6 with a cliffhanger (of course!) that left Richard Castle’s (Nathan Fillion) fate unknown, following a fiery car crash on his wedding day. The show returns for a new season in the fall — presumably with its title character.

You Can Now Explore 286 Miles Of The Colorado River In Google Street View

Google Canyon, anyone?

1. Today Google announced the launch of its Colorado River Street View program, where you can virtually float down the river yourself.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=IdVXrVxziXc.

2. In August 2013, Google staffers traveled on an eight-day, 286-mile journey down the Colorado River.

During the trip they captured a 360-degree view of the river, along with five popular side hikes, captured using Google’s street view Trekker camera.

This is the first time Google has used Street View technology to capture white water rivers in the United States.

In August 2013, Google staffers traveled on an eight-day, 286-mile journey down the Colorado River.

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3. Here are just a few of the views you can see while exploring.

Here are just a few of the views you can see while exploring.

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Google Maps

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Google

6. Bravo, Google.

You Can Now Explore 286 Miles Of The Colorado River In Google Street View

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gifusakiss.tumblr.com

7. Check it out for yourself here.

E.B. White's Fantastic Letter About Why He Wrote "Charlotte's Web"

In 1952, just a few weeks prior to the publication of his classic children’s book Charlotte’s Web, E.B. White was asked by his editor at Harper & Row, Ursula Nordstrom, to explain why he wrote the book.

In a letter to back (recently obtained by Letters of Note), White responded with a beautiful anecdote about the bond between humans and animals, his appreciation of spiders, and how a book is like a sneeze:

“I have been asked to tell how I came to write ‘Charlotte’s Web.’ Well, I like animals, and it would be odd if I failed to write about them. Animals are a weakness with me, and when I got a place in the country I was quite sure animals would appear, and they did.”

3. “The theme of ‘Charlotte’s Web’ is that a pig shall be saved, and I have an idea that somewhere deep inside me there was a wish to that effect.”

“A farm is a peculiar problem for a man who likes animals, because the fate of most livestock is that they are murdered by their benefactors. The creatures may live serenely but they end violently, and the odor of doom hangs about them always. I have kept several pigs, starting them in spring as weanlings and carrying trays to them all through summer and fall. The relationship bothered me. Day by day I became better acquainted with my pig, and he with me, and the fact that the whole adventure pointed toward an eventual piece of double-dealing on my part lent an eerie quality to the thing. I do not like to betray a person or a creature, and I tend to agree with Mr. E.M. Forster that in these times the duty of a man, above all else, is to be reliable. It used to be clear to me, slopping a pig, that as far as the pig was concerned I could not be counted on, and this, as I say, troubled me. Anyway, the theme of ‘Charlotte’s Web’ is that a pig shall be saved, and I have an idea that somewhere deep inside me there was a wish to that effect.”

4. “Only in rare instances has anybody ever come to grief because of a spider.”

“As for Charlotte herself, I had never paid much attention to spiders until a few years ago. Once you begin watching spiders, you haven’t time for much else—-the world is really loaded with them. I do not find them repulsive or revolting, any more than I find anything in nature repulsive or revolting, and I think it is too bad that children are often corrupted by their elders in this hate campaign. Spiders are skilful, amusing and useful. and only in rare instances has anybody ever come to grief because of a spider.”

“One cold October evening I was lucky enough to see Aranea Cavatica spin her egg sac and deposit her eggs. (I did not know her name at the time, but I admired her, and later Mr. Willis J. Gertsch of the American Museum of Natural History told me her name.) When I saw that she was fixing to become a mother, I got a stepladder and an extension light and had an excellent view of the whole business. A few days later, when it was time to return to New York, not wishing to part with my spider, I took a razor blade, cut the sac adrift from the underside of the shed roof, put spider and sac in a candy box, and carried them to town. I tossed the box on my dresser. Some weeks later I was surprised and pleased to find that Charlotte’s daughters were emerging from the air holes in the cover of the box. They strung tiny lines from my comb to my brush, from my brush to my mirror, and from my mirror to my nail scissors. They were very busy and almost invisible, they were so small. We all lived together happily for a couple of weeks, and then somebody whose duty it was to dust my dresser balked, and I broke up the show.”

6. “I haven’t told why I wrote the book, but I haven’t told you why I sneeze, either. A book is a sneeze.”

“At the present time, three of Charlotte’s granddaughters are trapping at the foot of the stairs in my barn cellar, where the morning light, coming through the east window, illuminates their embroidery and makes it seem even more wonderful than it is.

I haven’t told why I wrote the book, but I haven’t told you why I sneeze, either. A book is a sneeze.”